Step 1:
Get a roll of tape. She recommended scotch tape, but she's a GIRL, so what does she know about tape? I went with MANLY TAPE. DUCT TAPE!
Step 2:
Get me. I am large, oddly proportioned and GRUMPY.
I am a perfect test candidate.
Step 3:
Get me naked.
Oddly enough, this isn't as hard as it would seem to be, or so my wife says.
(I would like to point out, since this blog is rated PG, I am sparing you the worst of the view.)
Step 4:
Apply the tape. This is to give the appearance of "Lift." I don't know about "Lift." Uncomfortable yes, humiliated yes, "Lift" no.
Step 5:
Give up on the whole thing and remove the tape. I opted for a quick yank to reduce pain, however I failed to take into account the large amounts of flesh I would surrender in the process.
In conclusion:
This was a very, very bad idea. I have a new respect for Jenny, as well as for all Brazilians.
5 comments:
Ha! I love it!
This link is totally going on my drash the dress post.
(Sorry about the scrotal flesh.)
Hilarious post with fabulous illustrations. Inspired use of flower! Hee.
Thank you both. With Jenny's wit and Christine's great eye I am honored.
BTW. I am a gun for hire. You all ever need childlike drawings from a grown man. I am the one for you!
So yeah... now the book must go to reprint - it is now 102 Uses for Duct Tape
This scars about as well as Tigger and Pooh... Aaaaaah!
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