Tater Tots For The Masses

The Author Of SOPA Violates His Own Law

2012-01-13T02:30:00.001-06:00

HA! I have to give a hat tip to Laurence Simon who linked to this article by Jaime Lee Curtis Taete which explains that the author of the SOPA bill is violating his own law.

Turns out Congressman Lamar Smith is using copyrighted material on his website. I wonder if this means the government can shut down the whole server hie website is hosted on? Maybe shut down Congress itself?

We could only wish.

Coming Soon

2012-01-11T21:51:00.002-06:00

Hi Folks. As promised the chaos has begun and as you can see I began with a layout change. Most prominent is the new space for the comic at the top with the temporary holding banner:

Classy right?

And right below that I will have the latest IAMFAIL comic, followed by regular blog posts. I still host on blogspot (for some ungodly reason) and it's not the most webcomic friendly, but I'll see what I can do with it.

You guys will see more tweaks here and there and I'm sure I'll knock the whole thing offline, but regardless, things will go one.

Keep in mind I am looking for suggestions (and encouragement, Thanks Zack!) so let me know what you think.

Everyone take care and see you soon.

-Tots-

On The Drawing Board For 2012

2012-01-07T10:07:00.001-06:00

Hi Everyone! 2012 is starting off on a pretty good foot and I am cautiously optimistic. As many of you know I changed jobs last year. God has blessed me with health, happiness, my family, my friends and a good job that is fun and challenging.

I am still in technical support but since I no longer work for PHONECO I am challenged a LOT more and that's why the posts have been few and far between. I have always kept where I work quiet because what I say and do on the internet is not representative of any company I work for. While that is not going to change, I have decided I am going to make sure I have some time for myself.

I don't know what my blog schedule is going to be like, but here is the deal.

Soon, you will start seeing some design changes. First off, I have now bought the domain name http://www.tatertotsforthemasses.com. What this means for you is you no longer have to type in the ridiculously long blogspot address. Otherwise, no change; the old address and links will still work. It's just now easier for everyone to share.

Next up, you will see me pimping my wares a bit more. My new job is great, but I would love to be able to do cartoon design work as a living. THE WIFE and the kids would then have to put up with me all the time. (Poor them. HAHAHAHAHA.)

er... Ahem. Not to mention, I could then have some extra spending cash from time to time and that's always fun.

OK, so next up is I will be implementing a comic in the next few months. I'm still kicking the full design around, but most likely it will be a reflection of my life. I'll mostly change names to protect the guilty, but there is always danger if I know you in real life or on Teh Twitterz you may make an appearance (unless you don't want to).

During this whole process I will be taking suggestions on design ideas, story ideas, characters, etc... So your feedback is appreciated. I have opened an email specifically for the blog/comic which is tatertotsforthemasses (at) live (dot) com so email away. Of course I will remain on Twitter with the address @Tats4Masses. Follow me and when I update, you'll know. If you enjoy the stuff tell your friends and give me a RT.

So far the comics plan is a multipanel (somewhat) story comic called "Tater Tots for the Masses." I don't know how often I will be updating it, or when the official launch will be, but I'll keep you all up to date as I move forward.

I will be continuing the traditional single panel gag comic called IAMFAIL you already see from time to time. Right now I figure it will be randomly updated, but who knows.

Of course the blog will remain with a few annoying twists I have rattling around in the back of my head. Hopefully you all will enjoy them. If you see something you like, let me know. If you hate it let me know. Otherwise I will be drawing for me and not knowing everyone hates my stuff.

Thanks to all my friends for the love, the friendship, the laughter, tears and frustration we have shared. I hope this next part will be fun.

-Tots-

Losing It!

2011-12-19T21:30:00.001-06:00

OK, since I have been such a downer for a while I wanted to share some good news.

Last year I started trying to lose weight and failed miserably. This year my back got worse and turned to a crap sandwich. Surgery is not an option, I hurt too bad for regular exercise... blah blah blah.

So, the doc told me to do the only thing I really could. Cut back on calories.

When I started, my highest weight ever (which I hit last year) was 330 pounds. Today I weighed in at 299.

While that is still fat as a pig, losing 31 pounds over the holidays makes me a happy, happy man. My goal weight is 180 so I have close to 120 pounds to go, but the first 31 of that 150 pounds is gone.

Seriously?

2011-12-13T19:11:00.000-06:00

Totally legit way of handling things.

Crushing Your Head

2011-11-29T22:18:00.001-06:00

It seemed like a good defense at the time.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T11:31:00.001-06:00

The Pilgrims sometimes had to resort to "Gravy Boarding" the turkeys to get the information they needed.

I remembered this from last year and had to drag out the old "Gravy Boarding" post in honor of Thanksgiving. I'll be wearing my Witten Jersey asleep in front of the Cowboy's game this afternoon.

Happy Thanksgiving and may God's blessings be on you all!

Rockers For Life... Alert

2011-11-23T00:11:00.000-06:00

The Walken Dead

2011-11-19T23:27:00.001-06:00

What Is Wrong With Everyone?

2011-11-13T16:34:00.001-06:00

I'm in a pretty dark mood right now. I've watched all the envy and class warfare I can and I imagine Satan is laughing and dancing a jig.

OWS is angry at the 1%ers who are somehow taking all of their opportunity away. I still don't understand that one? Why is it if you are rich, you are evil? Bill Gates has money falling out of his butt, however it's because he is a visionary. He saw what no one else saw, worked his butt off and is wealthy as crap.

He also gives a LOT of cash to charity.

I also know (of) plenty of people who are in similar situations who don't give crap to charity.

I understand people being frustrated in the world because they can't get ahead. I just came from a message board where some lady who claimed to be a veteran was complaining that she couldn't make ends meet because she made $8 an hour and only got 16 hours a week. She couldn't get assistance because she made too much money and couldn't food aide because she didn't have kids... etc...

I have been there too. I couldn't find a job, couldn't figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Looking back on it, a big part of my problem was I was just being picky.

To make ends meet I poured concrete, worked at gas stations, sold steak knives and teddy bears. When I was offered an opportunity to get on where my dad worked I took it. I was pulling telephone cable and got good hours, moderately crappy pay but I worked.

I also worked my way up.

I learned how to get my lazy butt out of bed on my own and show up for work on time. I learned how to handle problems I hadn't been trained for, how to think on my feet. How to handle people who were total jerks but I had to work with them.

I had to learn how to be an adult.

While I worked there I couldn't afford insurance for anyone but myself. The family insurance for my wife and kid was out of our reach. My wife had a wreck while she was pregnant with our second child and my oldest son had to be flown by helicopter to the University of Tennessee hospital where he spent a week in intensive care.

We paid on medical bills for years.

When I hit a dead end at my job, on a whim I reached out to someone I knew to see if they were hiring. Turns out they were. I loaded up my family and moved to Dallas because there was work and opportunity.

Things went well for 12 years but when I once again hit a brick wall where I knew I couldn't go any higher as an engineer (and the only way to get into management was for someone to die); I had an random hit on Linked-In inviting me to a job fair. I polished up my resume and went. I ran into the guy who is now my boss and somehow I made an impression on him and was hired.

I have taken another step. I have more options now. I can grow as an engineer, I can possibly go into management. Someday I could start my own company if I wanted to. I have great benefits, a challenging job and I am surrounded by brilliant people who I am lucky to get to work with.

Now, lets focus back on OWS. They are angry because they don't have stuff and they are saddled with debt (in some cases). They went to college and cant find a job. They can't get insurance. They want success. You're not alone. I've noticed the local 7-11 where the day laborers used to hang out to pick up jobs is pretty sparse right now. No one is going to create a company specifically to create jobs and make things no one wants so they can lose money (Except for the government of course).

I'm sorry folks, you don't get success by sitting in a tent protesting the fact that other people are wealthy. I acknowledge that many of them may be dirty rotten stinking scum of the Earth who don't deserve what they have, but they do. They have more than their "Fair Share."

By the way, what is that "Fair Share" I keep hearing about? Maybe if we had a number I could give an argument for or against, but all I know is my family and I live comfortably. We are not rich, we are solidly middle class, but thanks to Obamacare my great insurance that I have worked my whole career to get to (which was also another motivation for me to take this job) gets not as great. It's still really good and I am sure it will be better than most still, but it demonstrates the fundamentals of socialism which is, "Socialism doesn't work". It never has.

Socialism does not lift the lowest up to the highest levels, it lowers the highest levels to the lowest levels. Plus keep in mind the people who are telling you how great socialism is aren't sharing their wealth. President Obama says he has tax breaks he doesn't want or need, yet he doesn't donate his salary to charity does he? Last I checked he was worth several million dollars.

People who predicted how the rich would reduce their wealth to avoid the crippling taxes were ridiculed. It was inconceivable to think someone would be so greedy as to not be greedy enough to make the most money they could when they would pay most of it in taxes. (Does reading that sentence even make sense to anyone? It doesn't to me, yet that is the logic I have seen kicked around). It is beginning to happen. By the way, it happened in the Soviet Union already.

Stop being envious of the top 1% and work to bring yourself to your highest level.

My advice to the vet who has the $8 an hour job? Email me. The gas station down the street from me is hiring starting at $9.50 an hour and I bet they'll give you more than 16 hours. If not, Home Depot is hiring in our area for around the same rate of pay. My oldest works there, has insurance through them and full time hours.

Full disclosure:

I am a hillbilly from East Tennessee who has a high school diploma and dropped out of college. Today I work for a worldwide software manufacturer in technical support. If I can do it, anyone can. Work your butt off and when you see an opportunity, seize it. Fortune favors the bold.

My Little Girl Rocks The House!

2011-11-06T17:45:00.000-06:00

This is my daughter Lucie's Cheer Team. They placed 2nd in their division (7 and 8 year old). Lucie is on the right side of the frame and the rear of the diamond formation.

I am proud beyond words at how hard my little girl and her team worked!

Congratulations girls!

Is That A Gun In Your Pocket Or...

2011-10-19T22:15:00.000-05:00

The Adventure Begins

2011-10-18T07:30:00.000-05:00

Yes I Am Cashing In On Dirty Hippies

2011-10-17T02:06:00.000-05:00

OK, so hippies are occupying Wall Street (Or rather a park somewhere in the vacinity of Wall Street) and the world is about to end, so what do I do???

I make some shirts!


Men's Value T-Shirt $10.99

Men's Ringer T-Shirt $16.99

Men's Dark T-Shirt $21.99

"Ridicule is man's most potent weapon. It is almost impossible to counteract ridicule. Also it infuriates the opposition, which then reacts to your advantage." - Saul Alinsky

Perry And Some Bad Lip Reading

2011-09-29T11:30:00.000-05:00

I was there... He really said this! Would I lie to you?

Of course this was shamelessly stolen from I Own The World.

Inspiration From The Strangest Places

2011-09-29T01:51:00.000-05:00

My buddy at work, Dan, has been giving me all sorts of drawing ideas.

It began a few weeks back when we were talking about how automated the bathrooms were becoming and he replied that it was part of the plan of our "Evil Robot Overlords".

That led to this drawing:

No more than three times, or else!

This week he has been distraught by a very demanding customer so he keeps quoting the movie "The Omen." Specifically the scene where the nanny commits suicide for Damien. Dan wails out from his cubicle, "It's all for you, Damien! All for you!"

Obviously I couldn't let that slide so I did a pen and pencil for his cube:

Yeah, Damien; we know who "The Man" is!

Perhaps I will be cured of my madness soon... Although I doubt it.

General Grumpus

2011-09-27T22:20:00.001-05:00

A lawsuit is strong with this one!

If only Sam's Club understood the use of parody allows the use of images. Meh...

Made Of Awesome!

2011-09-15T15:04:00.000-05:00

Driving PSA

2011-09-14T20:20:00.003-05:00

Drive faster! The life you save may be someone from the past?

Once again shamelessly stolen from I Own The World!

The Broncos Take The Field

2011-09-13T01:25:00.002-05:00

Yeah, this drawing sucks as bad as that game. It's 1:30 AM, what do you expect?

Another Shamless Example Of Idea Theft!

2011-09-02T07:57:00.003-05:00

More genius can be found at I Own The World.

Apathy? Yeah, Pretty Much

2011-08-30T18:40:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted in forever. I don't know if I can keep posting. There is no release anymore because I am losing hope.

I'm sorry if you come here for the funny. I find it harder and harder to be funny as each day goes by.

Hopefully it is just a reaction to a diet med my doc put me on. We'll see.

This Speaks For Itself

2011-08-25T11:57:00.002-05:00

Proudly stolen from BigFurHat of I Own The World.

The Nose Knows

2011-08-21T06:27:00.004-05:00

Our Commander In Chief Mingles with the Peasants:

Thanks to http://iowntheworld.com. BigFurHat is my hero.

I Speak Geek

2011-08-01T22:45:00.005-05:00

I have some new stuff up on my Comic Shop Cafe Press site. In keeping with my new job I have made a Geek reference and since it made me giggle, I want to throw it out for everyone to enjoy.

Go check out the full site at http://www.cafepress.com/houstonscomicstuff.

Hot Enough For Ya? / The Ben Cave

2011-08-01T00:41:00.005-05:00

Here in Dallas we've been blessed with some mild summers for the last several years. This year is just brutal hot though. I have to admit, I am impressed because it was so hot over this weekend that as I sit and type this I feel the same way I do when I have a sunburn. That sickly, radiating heat feeling.

Amazing.

In other news, we have completed phase one of "The Ben Cave."

What is "The Ben Cave" you ask? Well, as my constant readers know, my middle kid Ben is an Aspie (on the Autistic Spectrum for us Nuero Typicals) and as he approaches his 13th birthday he is not only trying to struggle with dealing with issues most people take for granted, he also has a freight train of hormones running through his body. For example: last month our church put on a block party for a neighborhood as outreach. Everyone had a great time, but at the end of the night Ben was so overstimulated we had a full on meltdown complete with screaming, hair pulling and trying to jump out of the truck...

And that was just me. ;-)

OK, so this month we had a repeat and once again everyone had a great time. Ben had a bad moment with one of his friends at the end of the party, but when we headed out this time there was a little bit of yelling, a lot of tears, but no violent outburst. (Praise God).

A major part of this is due to the fantastic job of his team of doctors. His developmental pediatrician Doctor Mike Rios is not only a true Star Wars fan, but he has helped Ben with his meds and has given him someone he can relate to and look up to. His psychologist Doctor Denise Wooten is a women sent by God as she has helped him, and us, to learn coping mechanisms.

One thing that she recommended for Ben was to give him a small quiet place he could go to. Ben has been sharing a room with his sisters and they all wind up freaking out, getting angry and shedding tears. She and THE WIFE talked over things and THE WIFE came up with the idea to make Ben his own "Man Cave" (so to speak).

So now (like Harry Potter) Ben is living under the stairs. We had been talking about sheet rocking in under our landing to make a small play room for the kids. With the idea, we simply moved quicker and decided to at least do a temporary measure to see if this would help Ben before we went full bore. Obviously there will be some paint coming soon so it loses some of the trailer park look, but it's functional right now.

As I type this Ben is sleeping quietly on his mat in his cave. He was EXTREMELY excited by the fact I built a special room just for him. I also have to say, while I was enclosing it, I noticed you could lay with your head under the stairs portion and it was very quiet and peaceful. Also, because it's a million degrees outside (and inside tonight) we have a fan blowing into the upper portion to keep some air circulating. This is also giving him some white noise.

Everyone who is so inclined, I would sincerely appreciate a prayer for my little man. He's quickly becoming a big man and I want him to keep his heart of gold forever. If you aren't inclined to pray, just some good thoughts are appreciated.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my rambling. I hope God blesses you.

While I Work

2011-07-30T14:42:00.005-05:00

I like to hit my little space at the back of the living room where I do my artwork, recording and blogging.

Sometimes I feel I am being watched though.

Other times I am working, Sato decides he is not pleased with what I am working on.

Nothing like 20 pounds of blubber on your drawing desk to slow down progress. I swear I think a Japanese whaler will be after him soon.

A Visual Aide

2011-07-22T18:45:00.005-05:00

So, wonder what our debt looks like? Wonder what all the fuss is?

I Own The World linked to a great representation. You should go view it and ponder our future.

Socialism #FAIL

2011-07-22T11:53:00.004-05:00

How Ironic. I parused over to WorldNetDaily (World NUT Daily) and found the following from Van Jones:

http://www.ourfuture.org/blog-entry/2011072921/bigger-tea-party

I left a comment (I know, waste of time) recommending some of the folks over there read a particular book. I felt it would make a good Political Outburt post so I logged in here to write my post and I saw my buddy KT Cat already had a post up on the same kind of thing.

The book is called Mig Pilot and tells the story of Victor Belenko who was a Mig 25 pilot in the 1970s. Disallusioned with the failure of the Soviet system he made an escape from his Russian base to an airbase in Japan where he defected and became a US citizen.

Anyone who supports socialism and government economic control, should really read this and see a firsthand account of what life is really like under that kind of system. Just like every time the government promises something and it always seems to fail, in the long run everything fails. I read it as a teen and I can't recommend it enough. I think it's something every teen who feels they are "Owed Something" should read.

"The trouble with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money." ~ Margaret Thatcher

New Pet

2011-07-20T22:30:00.001-05:00

I hope God will help me. We have another pet.

Last night THE WIFE found a little "House Gekko" on her iPod. She used a peanut butter jar to catch him and was about to release him when she decided the girls might like to see him.

Of course Sadie LOVED him. She wound up going and buying a home for him and crickets for him to eat. She also named him. His name is...

Tinkerbell and the Fairy Treasure

That is not a misprint. HE is named "Tinkerbell and the Fairy Treasure." I expect him to make a tiny noose and do himself in with a name like that.

What The???

2011-07-18T23:06:00.003-05:00

Seriously?

H/T to SarahK from http://mountaineermusings.com/

What's Up With Remakes

2011-07-15T00:43:00.002-05:00

The Thing?

<a href="http://entertainment.msn.com/video/?videoId=56x5zp3&from={from}" target="'_new'" title="''The">Video: &#39The Thing&#39 Movie Trailer</a>

Time For School Class

2011-07-11T14:03:00.001-05:00

Musings On The Space Shutte

2011-07-08T11:55:00.002-05:00

I remember watching the start of the shuttle program. A quick review of Wikipedia confirms what I remember, laying in the floor of my Grandfather's home with him beside me as we watched the launch on TV. I recalled it being just he and I and it being pretty early morning (it was April 12, 1981 at 7AM) and being a kid I was obviously facinated (I would have been 8 at the time).

For some reason on January 28, 1986 I was home from school. I remember it was around lunchtime when my mom called up to me and said something was wrong with the shuttle. I remember her saying, "I think it blew up." I watched the news covereage in disbelief for the rest of the day.

Flash forward to February 1, 2003. I was trying to motivate myself to get back into my workout routine. I had lost around 70 pounds and fallen off the wagon (still haven't made it back on) so I was riding my bike around our apartment complex. I rounded the northwest corner of the complex and off to the south I saw a HUGE flaming object which for some reason I took to be an asteroid. I had seen another shuttle re-entry and should have IMMEDIATELY made the connection, but for some reason I didn't.

I remember thinking wherever that thing finally hit it was going to be pretty horrendous. I watched it for a few seconds and noticed smaller pieces breaking away and was relieved that it was breaking up. I watched it break up and the pieces falling to Earth, then hopped on my bike and rolled into the garage. I went up to tell THE WIFE what I had seen when I noticed on the TV a shot of mission control and heard the voiceover announce they had lost contact with Columbia.

Let that sink it... I knew before Mission Control did that Columbia broke up and fell to earth losing all aboard.

Today, I watched the shuttle Atlantis launch on the final mission of the shuttle fleet. Instead of lying on my belly in front of a TV, I watched standing at my desk at work streaming from NASA.gov. I have no idea what we plan to do for our next phase of space exploration (and apparently neither does our government but as fouled up as things are tha tis probably for the best) but I pondered on being there for the begining and end of a piece of American history.

Were were you, when these events happened and have you talked to your kids about how they are watching history unfold every day?

The Devil Is Real And He Fights Dirty

2011-06-27T15:10:00.004-05:00

Don't believe it, read for yourself. Why do they focus on Chrisitanity over other religions? Thing on it.

Why Morality Is Important In Elected Officials

2011-06-16T13:17:00.004-05:00

I'm on a rant, so if you are easily offended, you may want to run away.

I have seen a lot of the back and forth on the Weiner scandal. I honestly would have cared less if he was out cheating on his wife, but here is what the country needs to keep in mind.

When he was caught, he lied. Most people I have read online don't fault him for that. "He was trying to save his marriage," "He was embarrassed." Whatever.

Here is the important thing to keep in mind; he did something he was ashamed of and when he was caught, he lied and tried to get others to lie for him. He tried to cover it up.

So, lets say it wasn't a right wing blogger with an axe to grind who found out about him and confronted him. What if it was the Chinese, the Russians or some other enemy? For the love of Pete, what if it was some special interest group with an axe to grind?

Do you really think he wouldn't give them what they wanted to keep them quiet? Secrets? Votes? I mean for real, the dude claimed he couldn't identify his own junk in a photograph.

Folks, there is a logical reason our elected officials need to be held to a higher standard than we are. It's nto about him fooling around, it's about what he is willing to do to hide it.

And for Alan Colmes saying we should "...get rid of everyone who lies in Congress." I'm trying buddy; I watch my rep.

Excuse Me Stewardess...

2011-06-16T04:00:00.003-05:00

Yep, you know this means a new shirt is coming!

Never Again. I Stand With Israel

2011-06-09T11:58:00.002-05:00

No, I Was Not Eaten By A Wildabeast!

2011-06-08T12:30:00.002-05:00

Actually I have just been beyond butt kicking busy here at SERVERCO. Hard to believe that learning a completely new product takes time and effort and MAY (Only MAY) interefere with blogging.

Regardless, I am doing well and still so happy I tinkle myself just a little bit every time I think about how wonderful my life is right now. THE WIFE finally talked me into going and having a sleep study done and turns out I have SEVERE sleep apnia.

No problem, just get a CPAP and off we go. The initial study showed excellent results SO... I got one. I feel MUCH MUCH better.

Plus, since I have a "Cadillac Health Care Plan" I upscaled my CPAP....

WANT!!!

2011-05-25T11:00:00.004-05:00

That's More Like It

2011-05-16T23:38:00.000-05:00

Cube Squatter

2011-05-12T12:50:00.000-05:00

AHA!

I am firmly settled into life here at SERVERCO where I do "Something" with computers. Its amazing how some things never change. For example: A window cube is always a coveted prize. It gives the cube-dweller a glimpse to outside and an opportunity to dream of freedom.

I had one once...

Anyway, we have a squatter in our area. She isn't in our group, but she has a coveted "Window Cube" and she refuses to move. My manager is a SUPER nice guy who is trying to politely "Hint" that she needs to move along so we can use the cube.

She pretends not to take the hint.

Today she LOUDLY laughed and chatted on her phone while the rest of us minions were buried Powershell and tried to drown her out with "Megadeth" on Zune...

I feel that the Cube Squatter MUST BE OVERTHROWN!!!!

Challenge Accepted!

MPTK

2011-05-08T08:32:00.000-05:00

"PolitiZoid - Mystery Presidential Theater" from RightChange on Vimeo.

Where My First SERVERCO Check May Wind Up

2011-04-29T10:29:00.000-05:00

I'm all tingley...

Foo Fighters. Wasting Light Live from 606.

2011-04-21T13:10:00.001-05:00

SQUEE!

NerdVana

2011-04-20T11:45:00.002-05:00

All I have to say is "Quad Core Windows machine with 24 Gig of RAM."

Nerds everywhere wish they were me.

Goodbye PHONECO

2011-04-15T09:15:00.000-05:00

Today is my last day at PHONECO, starting Monday I will be an underling for SERVERCO. Basically my job description will be the same. "He does 'Something' with computers."

Leading up to all this Lucie asked THE WIFE, why I was so happy to leave PHONECO. She didn't understand why I didn't like them anymore. THE WIFE tried to explain that I didn't believe they had a good plan for the future and she followed up with the question, "You know what SERVERCO makes don't you?"

Lucie replied, "Yes, money."

The girl is very bright.

Caution!

2011-04-08T11:41:00.000-05:00

If you fall, be sure to use "Jazz Hands"

Kloppenburg Wins!

2011-04-08T08:20:00.000-05:00

This looks familiar...

Shamelessly stolen from I Own the World!

Don't Argue With Me!

2011-04-07T16:01:00.002-05:00

I win!

Do You Ever Feel Like...

2011-04-06T20:00:00.000-05:00

...putting kittens into a blender?

Teh Awesomeness

2011-04-06T11:44:00.001-05:00

I don't need to say anything. I'll let this speak for itself.

More can be found at http://www.hayseed-dixie.com

Why Do People Panic?

2011-04-06T08:29:00.000-05:00

First ticket of the morning is a guy freaking out because the volume to his voicemail is too low. Everything is fine except this ONE QSIG link. When calls come in that one link, the volume is too low and we need to fix our voicemail yadda yadda yadda.My response, increase the volume on the link where you are having the problem.Seriously, this is not rocket science.Second ticket of the morning a guy tells me he is getting a 404 error when he tries to perform an action. I ask for a wireshark so I can see what file is not being returned. Something he could have done from the beginning and saved us both a TON of work.7 more days... 7 more days... 7 more days...

It's Baseball Time Again

2011-04-04T08:53:00.000-05:00

New Artist In The House

2011-03-31T21:06:00.000-05:00

I am no longer the top dog artist in the house, I now have some competition, Lucie has unleashed her new Super Hero...

Super Bunny!

Here is a comic Lucie did on her own starring Super Bunny!

The Adventures of Super Bunny!

I hope she takes care of me when I am old.

Interesting (To Me) Observations

2011-03-25T12:15:00.000-05:00

I spent the middle part of this week with a horrible case of dysentery. Forget corn, I don't remember bit of bridges and old coats that were passed.

Lets just say I'm like the house in "Poltergeist." CLEAN

But I have other things to write about besides my poop, I noticed the other day when I walk my left boot makes a different noise than my right boot walking down our long concrete hallway here at PHONECO. I then looked like an idiot in the middle of the hallway standing on one leg like a crane while trying to pull my left foot closer to my face to look at the bottom of my boot. I didn't fall, but my back made some incredible cracking noises and some 70 year old lady stuck a dollar in my belt. That didn't bother me, but the guy who stuck a 5 in sure did *call me*.

Of course I found nothing and when I noticed the sound again today, I realized it's because of my walking mechanics. I actually have my center of weight shifter to my right side for some reason. When I shift it to the left (centering it) the noise goes away. Crazy, my neck has been bothering me anyway, so I think I need to schedule a visit to the Chiropractor again.

On the other side, my current weight is 317, I haven't been working out due to the incredible amount of work we are under. Most days I eat at my desk while working or stuff a bite or two in when I have a spare minute. I know this is awful for me, but I am stuck and can't change things right now.

Much love to my friends. See you all soon.

Wanna See What I look At All Day

2011-03-15T10:07:00.001-05:00

This is one VoIP call. Go to college kids... Trust me.

VoIP In Action

Gotta love Wireshark!

Cat People

2011-03-14T16:09:00.000-05:00

Great Description!

One reason I love I OWN THE WORLD.

What Gets Me Through My Day

2011-03-09T13:07:00.002-06:00

Puppy Update

2011-03-05T19:54:00.000-06:00

Once again the steely eyed Tux pointed out I never "Officially" announced the name of the new puppy.

I would like everyone to send a warm hello to the newest member of the family, "Gadget."

I am going to eat your nose fat man!

He is a feisty little fluff ball and is all teeth and claws when it's wrestling time. He and Gizmo have hit it off well and even sleep in the same crate together.

Of course THE WIFE and the kids love him completely and totally.

Adventures In Eating

2011-03-01T12:17:00.000-06:00

My kids are fans of the Nick show iCarly so we often have PearPad jokes and stuff around but the other night THE WIFE asked me what I wanted for dinner. Me being the incredible smartypants I am said "Spaghetti Tacos."

If you don't know what that means, you can go here to get background.

Go ahead... I'll wait.

OK, so you understand now right? Good.

So I come home to find!

A multi-National Feast!

Happy Children!

Thumbs up for Spaghetti Tacos!

Well.. SOME of the Children were happy.

For everyone wondering what is was like, the kids dug it. THE WIFE and I thought it was OK (You don't expect crunchy to go with Spaghetti flavor) but overall, not bad.

Good job Spencer!

Stress... You Betcha!

2011-02-24T16:25:00.000-06:00

I am starting to come a little unglued. Ben is driving Jennifer up the wall and I don't know what to do to help her. He is at almost a dead stop and won't work and I don't know why.

I have an important appointment Monday which is stressful, PLUS I can't get my stupid servers at work to do ANYTHING!!!

I am picking at my mustache and making bald patches in my face. What a stupid stress expression.

Allen West Is Becoming My Hero

2011-02-22T10:25:00.000-06:00

So far this man talks the talk and walks the walk. He and Chris Christie are the two that don't listen to crap and know their facts.

Thanks to TheBlaze.com for the link.

The Artful Dodger

2011-02-21T18:33:00.005-06:00

He was slightly before my time, but as someone who's blood bleeds orange, I may have to watch this one.

Total Shocker

2011-02-16T13:01:00.000-06:00

We had to make an emergency trip back to Tennessee for my Paternal Grandmother's funeral so with the chaos and all, I have been missing my workouts. Not to mention I have been trying to study up for another job.

I'm sorry, but my days at PHONECO are numbered.

I don't think I will get canned, but that is part of the problem. I will be one of the last people left here to suffer through supporting failing products when we finally get our division sold off to someone else. THEN I will get canned. Right now there are exactly TWO of us working support. (2) Seriously. My Big Boss stated yesterday he was confused because we had 350 or so emails a week, 150 or so cases a month and no sales.

You heard that right... no sales.

Obviously this doesn't bode well for me. The hand full of installations which have been performed are eating our lunch as far as resources go. I have read the writing on the wall, so I have been sowing my oats (and if anyone is looking for a VoIP Ninja feel free to let me know). I am spending my days waiting for a callback to see if my BIG LEAD pays off or not.

So anyway, I digress. My weight after my mile and a half return to walking, 318. I'm still on target.

Thank you, God. All praise and glory goes to you.

Whoop De Freakin' Doo

2011-02-10T23:07:00.000-06:00

Yeah, I know... Where have I been? You were so worried.

Do you really care? Really?

Ah, thanks. I love you all too.

OK, so lots going on in my life right now. I can talk about some, some of it I can't. I promise once I have more info I'll spill the beans, but it's too early right now. Just know it is a good thing and if it goes through I will be very happy.

On the family front, I lost another grandmother. My father's mother past away and we had to make an emergency trip back to TN. The Boy In The Box stayed behind and protected the fort while THE WIFE, Chris, Ben, Lucie, Sadie and Gizmo loaded up and hit the road. 1700 mile round trip in a week. Yeah, my butt hurts.

Of course since I have been gone I haven't been able to consistently walk. My back has sucked because of it. Regardless of the fact I wasn't losing much weight my back felt MUCH BETTER. I was living without eating painkillers every day.

Work is work... People break things, I fix them. Sometimes I amaze myself how good I am while some days I amaze myself I remember to breathe.

Meh... I'm falling asleep at my laptop. Rest easy my friends and God bless.

Help Us Name The New Puppy!

2011-01-27T19:45:00.000-06:00

OK, so THE WIFE is getting a new puppy for her birthday. She is in love with our baby Gizmo. Gizmo is our Japanese Chin and she is getting a playmate.

Here is the little boy.

What? Can't I get some privacy here?

See this paw? I'm gonna pop you in the mouth with it if you don't stop.

So we have a poll up on the right hand side of the blog. You have 24 hours to vote.

HURRY! HURRY! Or else he'll get a crappy name.

As I Shamelessly Rip Off Lady GaGa

2011-01-24T22:00:00.000-06:00

Doe this hat make me look gay?

This is exactly why I shouldn't draw late at night... Oh my poor wife.

Day 8 - January 24th, 2011

2011-01-24T12:15:00.002-06:00

I didn't work out or worry over the weekend. Today I did another 1.5 miles and my weigh in is 321 pounds.

Day 5 - January 21, 2011

2011-01-21T12:27:00.000-06:00

I MADE IT!!!!

OK, well, I made it through the first week. It's a start. HA!

My foot feels much better today, I wrapped it in a cool cloth last night, medicated myself and stayed off of it as much as I could. I would have iced it, but I could get to everything with the cloth better (between my toes etc...).

So today I did 1.5 miles again and my weight was 326.

I'm not freaking over the short term weigh gain, I had a couple of sodas yesterday which are EVIL EVIL EVIL! So I look to drop the weight again long term. I am just keeping on keeping on.

Next weekend I have a super secret meeting I am going to. No idea if anything will come from it, but I was approached by this company a couple of years ago and I felt like I wasn't qualified. Earlier this year I was trying to get in with a former co-worker to see about working with this company's stuff and I wound up working over at PHONECO and missing the meeting. This week I got a request through Linked-In to go to this company's campus for an open house.

Obviously God is trying to tell me something. I think it's time I listened.

I'll keep you in the loop.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Day 4 - January 20, 2011

2011-01-20T12:41:00.000-06:00

OK, made it again. No magic weight loss and I am heeding the advice. Not worrying about day to day, but I am keeping track for my own purposes.

Walked 1.5 miles and my weight was 323.

I did have to take a painkiller last night for this:

Ohhh yeah baby!

May wind up with another one tonight. We'll see, at least my foot has taken my mind off my back.

Day 3 - January 19, 2011

2011-01-20T11:35:00.000-06:00

Sorry, I did work out, but I was too busy to update yesterday.

I did 1.51 miles on the treadmill and weight was 323.

Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement. I promise to not lose hope on weight fluctuations, I just hope to see a gradual trend downward. Honestly my long term goal doesn't end until 2012, so I won't lose hope.

As soon as I escape from this conference call, I will go work out again.... Then maybe post an ugly picture of my foot which is killing me.

Day 2 - January 18, 2011

2011-01-18T12:19:00.001-06:00

Well, I did two days in a row. In Ranger's terms that is a STREAK!

OK, so today I walked 1.55 miles at lunch and my current weight is ~~125~~ 325 (corrected) pounds. (Don't get jealous, because I know I am looking at water weight right now so I am not jumping up and down that I hit my goal for the week.)

BTW, my goal is 2 pounds a week. This is a frightening admission, but if I can achieve it I will hit 225 pounds by 2012. I like that idea.

Day 1 - January 17, 2011 (Big Changes Ahead)

2011-01-17T12:37:00.000-06:00

I know I have griped and complained about things for ever now, but my back has killed me forever and ever. It's been a little while but I have been off the painkillers and just trying to make the muscle relaxers work for me. I have now started having problems with crazy creeping feelings up and down my back when I try to go to sleep. It sounds like restless leg syndrome, but targeted at my back instead.

THE WIFE said that maybe God was sending me another sign to get up off my butt and lose weight.

Fine... I'm listening. (Finally)

Here's the deal. I need to lose 100 pounds (at least). I have to relearn how to eat, and figure out what my problem is. Listening to a shrink talk they would say I am trying to fill an emptiness in my life with food. Who knows, maybe they are right.

I'm also going to take this opportunity to let everyone know I will be starting up a webcomic. I have not decided on the posting schedule, but I am setting the template up in wordpress/comic press and have the basic layout set, but I don't have a hosting area other than blogger right now, which the format isn't really compatible for. So I will probably be buying a domain soon and moving to another web host.

So let me begin my tally. Day 1, I walked a mile and a half on the treadmill at lunch. Starting weight 327 pounds.

Lord it hurts to write that.

The Plague Of 2011

2011-01-15T20:30:00.001-06:00

For the record, last weekend Ben had his tonsils out. Thank you for all the well wishes and prayers. He is recovering nicely and is back to obsessing over normal things.

Next up, both of the girls have Strep Throat. Not unusual, after all they are pretty much joined at the hip.

Chris freaked out and complained of his gut going to Sea Cadets drill. We chalked it up to nerves and an anxiety attack. He texted overnight and was grouch and typical teenager in the texts. The next day the Ensign called and said we needed to come get him.

I picked the boy up and promptly took him to urgen care where they diagnosed him with a kidney stone.

Awesome... (I have a great one liner I busted on him in front of the doctor, but I am saving it for a comic.)

Now I am feeling like crap as is THE WIFE. Her "Lasso of Truth" isn't even making it all the way across the living room.

Thank God my aggravating job has good insurance.

Sensible Violence

2011-01-09T21:07:00.000-06:00

Please Help This "Special Boy"

2011-01-07T12:06:00.001-06:00

This is my son Chris. This year, Chris decided he would like to expand his musical abilities beyond the upright and electric bass and move on to...

The Ukulele.

He was so inspired, he made this video about it:

For those of you wondering... Yes, yes I do have to live with that kind of stuff all the time. Did I mention I drink a lot?

Anyway, this is what he wants:

It costs $90 and I have decided to reach out to the community to raise the money. Think of it as an experiment. Leave requests in the comments for videos you would like to see or drawings you would like to see and we will fill the orders (within reason, I mean I am not eating poop or anything like that) and tip us.

Here is a paypal link especially for this. Please donate as you feel pity for me. I will keep everyone appraised of the insanity of what is going on.

Thanks,

Houston

Lego Black Ops

2010-12-30T11:22:00.000-06:00

HT to Justin at http://jrtblog.com

Why Am I Up Late Again?

2010-12-29T00:56:00.000-06:00

Backing up the surviving pictures that's why.

Well, that and actually trying to get some art work done. I think I'll swing by Michael's tomorrow and pick up a draftsman's brush for my eraser shavings and a set of illustrator pens. I have been happier with my colors in the last few drawings, but I am definitely not happy with the inking and such from today's add on.

Oh well, inspiration isn't supposed to be perfect, it's an excuse to practice cartooning myself in my Witten jersey anyway.

One more game for the Cowboys (against the Eagles). I wonder if Van wants to make a bet (odds are definitely in his favor).

IAMFAIL December 28th, 2010 (Learn From My FAIL)

2010-12-28T12:33:00.000-06:00

There are those who have lost data, and those who will lose data.

Yep, it finally happened. My external drive bit the dust. The one I had been meaning to back up. The one with kids pictures from all different ages, pictures from my trips, tons of music and software. Work emails I had archived for when I eventually get put out to pasture.

I was pretty depressed and kicking myself in the butt. Working in tech support I know failure is inevitable and a good set of backups makes the hurt much easier to deal with. I broke one of my own rules which is to back up religiously.

Oh well. I checked out the hard drive and the problem is the motor is seized. Apparently this is fairly common for Seagate external drives, they take a good shock and BLAMMO.

While I mourn my lost data I will see if I can send it off to get the data recovered by removing the disks and replacing the motor. It isn't likely, but there is a possibility.

Adding to my paranoia is the fact I couldn't find my software bag. That would be the one with all my OS's and my copy of Paint Shop. Without Paint Shop, life may end for me.

OK, whining over. Enjoy the look of total dismay on my illustrated face.

Messing With The Layout

2010-12-27T14:15:00.001-06:00

Sorry for the layout changes. As you all hit the page you may find some nausea inducing changes from time to time and I apologize for that. I am experimenting with layouts for a web comic I am hoping to roll out next month.

IAMFAIL is fun as a one panel thing, but basically I get a chuckle out of it and that is about it. I am looking to make the move to multi panel gags where I can hope to develop beyond the potty humor and inside jokes I have now. Also I would like to hit the point where I can make some cash off of what I am doing and justify it.

I'll keep everyone in the loop and if urls or anything changes I will try to make it obvious.

Thanks,
H

Keys Con Work Order Summary

2010-12-22T12:54:00.000-06:00

Mission Successful!

Work Order:

Problem: Wet spots in carpet

Solution: Japanese Chin apprehended and released in natural environment of Tokyo

Time of Job: 15 seconds

Bollywood Action Scene (Even Better Than The Last!)

2010-12-21T08:00:00.001-06:00

IAMFAIL December 20th, 2010

2010-12-20T08:47:00.000-06:00

Brett Favre provides photographic proof of a "Suspicious Package"

This one is dedicated to my good friend @Falahime. Merry Christmas little sis!

Smarter Than The Average Rug

2010-12-15T08:00:00.000-06:00

This is AWESOME!

Rules? Who Needs Rules?

2010-12-14T21:01:00.000-06:00

Today was interesting. First off we had to pull Ben out of school after the school gave THE WIFE notice that he wasn't doing so well. They felt like he isn't doing so well, blah blah blah...

Whatever, the writing is on the wall, so the boy is now home schooled for the rest of the year.

Now, in dealing with this, I got called by some managers about a site that is so angry. (Score one). They are threatening to pull our server. (Score two). They don't feel like they are getting good enough support. (Score three). And several more sales depend on this getting fixed which will result in thousands of dollars in revenue. (TECH SUPPORT BINGO!!!!)

Here is the situation; our sever has a list of phones we have tested and deemed to be fully compatible. The salesholes push the fact we are SIP based and that any SIP phone will work on our system, but tend to forget that if we haven't tested for full compatibility, there may be some things that don't work right. This can be caused by things being implemented in different methods or a bug on one side or the other. I admit, we aren't perfect, but we are pretty good.

The important thing is to remember if the phones have not been fully tested, we do not guarantee full compatibility. Basically that is a big red flag which stops troubleshooting. If it works on a phone that is fully tested and not one one that isn't, boom, we are supposed to punt the problem away.

So of course we have a HUGE site which just purchased our server with a bunch of Cisco SIP phones that are not on our fully compatible list. Sure enough, there is a bug with the Cisco terminal. Does our reseller call Cisco and demand they fix the bug?

No.

They call us and demand we figure out some way to make these terminals which are not on our fully compatible list and have a bug (a bug that I have proven is legitimate and Cisco supposedly fixed several loads back) because THEY SOLD THEM TO THE CUSTOMER!

What's really sad.

Because cash is being threatened, I have been asked to try to figure out some way to make it happen.

Why make rules that you won't enforce? Why not just say, sure we'll have our minion get right on it.

Whatever; you guys pay my salary.

IAMFAIL December 13th, 2010

2010-12-13T19:59:00.000-06:00

Stick Figure MacGuyver to the rescue!

With a tiny stick of gum, a tiny mullet and a tiny paper clip Stick Figure MacGuyver makes his great escape into the dark corners of the universe.

SCORE ONE!

I Often Wonder About The Power Of Toilet Paper

2010-12-10T12:46:00.000-06:00

Picture is not of me, I shamelessly stole it.
Click on the mummy to visit the site.

Am I the only one who is skeptical about the benefits of using a toilet bib to protect your from the various diseases you can catch from the toilet seat?

I mean if taking a few bits of toilet paper and laying them on the toilet seat provides you with an impenetrable barrier barrier between your butt and the seat, wouldn't the Army be outfitting soldiers with that instead of chemical warfare suits?

Seriously???

So with that said, you should defininitely perform a pre poop test flush to avoid any embarrassing traps.

And toilet paper, those bibs don't work too well for anything except covering the seat.

Yeah, you're welcome. Learn from my failures.

Obama Loses It

2010-12-09T08:35:00.000-06:00

Too FUNNY!
Ht to IOwnTheWorld !

Still Alive (Mostly)

2010-12-07T23:06:00.000-06:00

For everyone who is still with me, I am alive. I'm sorry that nothing funny has been popping up but I have really been kicking butt non stop on church stuff after work so I have next to no time to blog or draw.

We went to the Dallas Christmas Parade and I have great things to tell, just need time to tell it. Plus we saw Glenn Beck and I got him to crack a grin after he shook the hands of the kids. All these things I must tell.

I'm sad that my oldest son was fired from his job today. From what he tells us he made a mistake and wound up costing Toys R Us some cash. He's posted on facebook that he isn't supposed to talk about it so I'll leave it at that. Regardless, he is now in the job hunt so if anyone needs a scrawny young man with a wacky goatee and a general air of homelessness about them, I have the man for you.

Keep the faith all.

Just Because It's Monday

2010-11-29T12:36:00.000-06:00

The More You Know!

If you have phone problems it is apparently best to NOT call in while you are having a problem, but rather to wait until lunch time on the following Monday and then gripe like it's the end of the world.

Effective.

IAMFAIL November 25th, 2010

2010-11-25T11:07:00.000-06:00

The Pilgrims sometimes had to resort to "Gravy Boarding" the turkeys to get the information they needed.

The things I see written on twitter which inspire me *sigh*.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and may God's blessings be on you all!

IAMFAIL November 24th, 2010

2010-11-24T10:20:00.001-06:00

The dreaded "Triple Dog Dare!"

Sometimes goofy conversations can be inspiration. Yesterday I was talking on twitter with my buddy @MarshallSheldon when stopped replying. I fired off a couple of attention getter tweets and he responded that he had gotten distracted licking the bus window.

I think the illustration sums it up better.

Traveling This Week?

2010-11-22T10:01:00.000-06:00

I'm sure glad I'm not.

BTW, he is the bass player. DON'T JUDGE ME!

Situation Normal

2010-11-15T14:27:00.000-06:00

Not griping, just amazed.

PHONECO does mainly online training and one of my co-workers took a course on the system I support. He made the statement that he "Passed the test but couldn't figure out how to add a phone to his system now."

This guy is no dummy, he reads ISO recommendations and understands them, got his CWNA, has taught classes in VoIP for years and has written countless documentation for PHONECO. This is just an example of how crappy the training is. We cannot make upper management realize you can't sit a person down in front of what is (basically) a 12 hour Power Point Project and expect them to do anything other than follow the steps a to b to c.

That would be great, but if you don't know why you HAVE to go a to b to c instead of b to a to c (which may work sometimes) and why, they will fail on installation of the new PBX. Go over budget. Speak poorly of it. Cause others to hate it.

In other words FAIL.

I Have A Theory

2010-11-11T09:40:00.000-06:00

I have a theory concerning Charles Shultz's Peanuts Gang. For years these beloved hooligans have amused us with their shenanigans, but I have recently become concerned about their activities. I think we have been duped my friends.

I do not take the dismantling of one of America's most beloved groups lightly, but the truth must be revealed.

First off, I need to let everyone in on the truth. The Peanuts Gang is just that, a GANG. Why have we overlooked this through the years? If they were a group of elementary aged kids joined the Crips or the Bloods now would we? Just because the criminal organization is referred to as the "Peanuts Gang" doesn't mean their motives are pure.

Example number one is the one referred to as "Peppermint Patty.

Wholesome? You be the judge.

"Patty" appears to be some over-masculine freestyling young lady who is destined to not shave her legs and do all her shopping at Sprouts.

Furthermore she is followed by her life partner "Marcy" who calls her "Sir" non stop.

This isn't coming out of the closet, this is standing in the closet with the door open while your life partner shines a spotlight on you.

Mixing a little meth in the bathtub instead of bathing?

Next up is our little buddy, PIGPEN!

Pigpen is always dirty and while no one brings it up odds are good the he is a hard core tweaker.

So who is responsible for all the trouble? Do I really need to point it out?

That's right! Charlie Brown!


YOU BLOCKHEAD! (Or should I say HEAD?)

Ever notice the Christmas Tree? Not much of a tree huh? That's because IT HAS FIVE FREAKING LEAVES!!!

They were firing up a HEMP Christmas Tree? WHERE ARE THE ADULTS????

New Product Idea

2010-11-08T07:11:00.004-06:00

Surely I can make some cash off this one!

From our mouth to yours!

IAMFAIL - November 5th 2010

2010-11-05T07:11:00.001-05:00

The Most Awesome Rescue EVER!

2010-11-04T13:23:00.000-05:00

Wondering Where The Unicorn Farts Are

2010-11-02T00:39:00.000-05:00

THE WIFE noticed I hadn't posted the fact our middle son got to meet the Blue Angles this weekend. I just replied I hadn't had much time to blog, which is the truth. Another truth is I am getting tired of whining about everything.

I used to talk to her about what went on at work, but my job is so technical and boring that she redirects the conversation when I try to vent. I'm not saying she doesn't let me talk about work or let me vent, but the fact is I just can't get it all out. I can't clear the frustration.

Politically I think our country has made some huge mistakes which we will be paying for, for years to come. I know PHONECO is screwed. so basically no mater where I turn I feel like the battle is lost.

Let me give you an example or two.

I'm working an issue where I have a guy doing an install that can't get something to work. I'm trying to be his one stop solution to make things work rather than bouncing him from dept to dept. I got an email Friday that I needed to follow up on older tickets, then another email this morning, then in the afternoon my supervisor came by and told em I have more tickets than anyone that haven't been cleared yet.

So, in the morning my first priority is to clear all these tickets out and make sure I don't open tickets according to the priorities set out by our management, but rather by what priorities will not show up in the report they run twice a day.

So, this customer suffers because I have to handle my paperwork.

Stupid right? Yeah, I agree.

The feeling I have no one I can talk to is the depressing side of things and that is where I am right now. I have no out, no escape. I have to keep my job for the benefits and the salary. I could leave the job and immediately go to work at another company (If anyone from PHONECO is reading this, YES I HAVE HAD AN OFFER so screw off). The problem is I go on the road and probably wind up divorced.

THE WIFE and I are having enough problems trying to keep Fridays open so I can help with a men's group for my church.

I just am tired. Tired of trying to do a good job and feeling like I am failing. Tired of trying to not care and not being able too. Tired of having a good work ethic and being a loyal employee while I get dicked around by managers who are playing games.

My main thing I long for is when I finally turn my notice in and then my manager offers me money to stay (Granted he might not, but knowing the shape his dept is in, where I am the only guy with an American accent, I think he will.) and I turn it down. I've taken too many "For the team" and to "Enhance my career." These "Great career moves" are why I can't go to the damn Physical therapist and have been living on pain killers for the last five years. Why I can't get a normal exercise routine in and get below 300 pounds so I can stop hurting all the time.

I better stop now. I'm not going to eat a bullet of chew up a hand full of pills, but I am so sick of dealing with people, it seems like a nice thought.

But then, who would tell you all fart jokes?